Tuesday, 27 May 2008

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    Open Mouth...tumbleweeds fall out?

    So, I was riding the bus last week and I am always on the prowl looking for other folks I can practice Spanish with.  Excluding said boyfriend that speaks more of a 'street style' spanish and baby daddy says that said boyfriend's spanish makes him sound 'stupid'.  Back to the search, I'm on the prowl.

    Then, I get on the H1 and there he is, only unknown to or by me.  Tall, decent looking brotha...hold up, check the outfit, he is a Metro Supervisor and he is training the bus driver.  Oh..hum...then he opens his mouth and out comes the best spanish I have ever heard a brotha speak in my entire life.  I was sitting there grinning like a FOOL, thinking of clever little things I could say to him before I get off the bus:

    I love the way the language caresses your tongue.

    Do you take command in relationships the same way you do with your lingusitic skills?

    And so on and so forth, until I'm so far recessed in my mind that my stupidity knows no bounds.  Snapped back to reality by strange guy sneezing across from me (Bless you-I whisper, through grins and dimples), I'm checking out said brothaman who is talking to a woman in spanish.  What I learned: He's single (praise Jebus!),  he learns by listening (oh my God, me too) and talking to people (oh Sweet Baby Jebus of all the Heavens...this man is for me) and he would like to know if there are any people of color wherever this chick comes from.  She replies yes, there are lots more morenos in South and Central America than you would believe.  (Honey, this I know...let's just say have a gooood hard look at Tego Calderon.  Long. Hard. Look.)

    She gets off the bus and I sit there still trying to think, like I'm an idiot!! Oh God, what am I gonna say.  Okay, attempt to make eye contact.  Damn! Woman stands in my line of sight, I can't see him.  Okay, we're gonna be okay, he stands up to offer his seat (Sweet Jesus a gentleman too!!).  Better view, work up the nerves, T, what are you gonna say.  Open my mouth and blow a spit bubble is what I do.  Yes, dumbass me.

    Okay, regain composure, no one saw that.  Just make like it didn't happen.  Then, I look up and my stop is coming up rapidly.  Thinkthinkthinkthink...then comes the super dumbest 20 second conversation in the history of words, "You speak spanish really well."

    "Oh do you speak spanish?" He asks me.  I nod.

    "Por supesto," I reply.  Doors open and I must get off the bus.

    "¿Como apprendiste?" He shouts.

    I turn around and grin, "Oh, mi ex novio es del Salvador!"

    Ladies and gentlemen, the dumbest conversation in the history of words. 

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